It's Not A Planet, It's My Home. Creative Writing Examples.

Author: Wiremu

IT’S NOT A PLANET, ITS OUR HOME    

 I'm in hyper sleep. I have been asleep for 65 years. I start to wake up. I look through my blurry helmet it is as dirty as a dirty windscreen.

I hear my ship gliding through space, it was as smooth as a car on a freshly made road. The first thing I see is the beautiful star. It was as shiny as diamonds.

I felt my seat hugging me like a giant teddy bear, it was as hard as two walls crushing me. Next the warm sun was shining over my face.

I smell cake from my home, freshly baked. I taste delicious nuts in the cake. The earth it is so close my mum my dad will be there waiting there for me. I haven't seen my family in 65 years.

The  Atmosphere it is here,  I start to wobble and shake. I smell smoke in the air.

I walked out, I was alone. I saw blown up cars and nothing alive. Everything was dead, the breeze was upon me, it sent a shiver down my spine. My family is gone, a tear dripped down my face. Nothing is here but the concrete and dead trees.

   My home where has it gone?                    

     

Author: Narnya

It's Not A Planet, It's My Home.

I’m sleeping. Light shines on my face. It must be the sun. I slowly open my eyes.

I see the milky way it's green, blue and purple. I look up and I see a constellation of the jungle and my family. I am so happy and excited to go back home. I am wondering how much my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews have grown. I hear asteroids shooting past. I feel sore from sitting here for 65 years. I hate being alone. For the past 65 years I've had the stars for company. Sometimes I feel like the stars are watching over me.

Finally I see earth in the distance. It looks a little bit different from when I left. I said to myself “Aww I can't wait to see everyone I'm so excited”. As I get closer and closer. I feel a rush of wind as my rocket hits the atmosphere it shakes  as if I was in a massive earthquake.

I thought about how my caretaker would feel about seeing me after 65 years. I'm so excited but so sad because I don't think I will be able to see space again.

All the planets, stars, milky way, and much more stuff. As I was enjoying the beautiful view my rocket had a rough landing it hurt and it gave me a fright.

The rocket door slowly opened and I quietly creeped out. I can’t believe what I see…

I slowly take my helmet off, it was terrible I smelt smoke and tasted  dirt and dust There was no water to be found, no green grass, just concrete buildings and wooden buildings. I look down and I pick up a branch, I look at the trees all of them are dead. All the leaves have fallen off and they are dead too. I feel like I want to go back to space.

My heart belongs to space.

Author : Mikaere 

It's Not A Planet, It's My Home.

I am dreaming and I am excited and I can't wait to see my family and my brother and sister. But I am scared to see planet Earth and I hope my home is still there.  I am gonna miss space and my rocket shield  is really really old. I touch my rocket ship for the first time then I heard a meteor pass me. I am hungry because I haven't had food in a long time. I can tell my story to my family. I hope they like it. I am going really, really, fast and my heart is pumping like a really fast rocket ship. I finally landed I stepped out of my rocket ship. I look around and there was rubbish on the ground and gun  bullets, the building were broken down I was so, so, so sad.

Author: Waisea

It's Not A Planet, It's My Home.

I am asleep it is so quiet. I am feeling good and I am dreaming about me going back to Earth. I feel so warm in my suit. My age is 10 years old and I have lived in space for 65 years.

Through my window I can see stars and planets and my home Earth.  The Milky Way is just nearby.

It is dark everywhere and my tummy is rumbling, I am hungry.  Can’t wait to see my brothers, my mum, my dad and my sisters. I am feeling really excited. At last I am going back down to Earth I am feeling great.

I am coming through the atmosphere.  My eyes are too blurring for me to see, I am  waking up. I can feel the hot sun on my face it is like a heater on a icy day. I am just about to land, I am scared, because the rocket ship is spinning out of control.   

Finally  I have arrived, there, I thought what a terrible mess!  What have the people done?

I was walking and my toes were slipping through the concrete, I saw broken vehicles and gun bullets.

Was it a war I thought to myself? I was so disappointed. I said to myself what has happened?

I was sad I had no home. I saw broken bones everywhere I was scared. I saw someone in the distance it was a big robot, all of a sudden I was happy.

I yelled out help!  It was not a goody it was a baddy. I was running for my life. Getting chased by a robot is not cool I was screaming. I got shot by it in the alleyway. Blood was pouring out of my hand. I felt sore and I could feel myself dying.      

The Multimodal Approach

After reading many articles on the benefits of using a multimodal approach to enhance the quality of writing, I decided to implement a couple of the approaches I had read about, in the classroom to see what would happen.

Multimodal Learning This link explains the multimodal approach in detail if you are interested. 

I had read that :

1.'Words and Pictures are Better than Words Alone. People learn better from words and pictures than from words alone (Mayer, 2005). Words include written and spoken text, and pictures include static graphic images, animation and video. The use of both words and pictures lets the brain processes more information in working memory (Sweller, 2005). Mayer (2005) tells us that narration and video is much more effective than narration and text. 

2.'Multimedia Learning is more Effective When it is Interactive and under the Control of the Learner. Not all students learn at the same pace. Research tells us that when learners are able to control the pace of the presentation they learn more. Multimedia presentations are more effective when the learner has the ability to interact with the presentation, by slowing it down or by starting and stopping it. This pacing can also be achieved by breaking the presentation into segments; shorter segments that allow users to select segments at their own pace work better than longer segments that offer less control (Mayer, 2003).'

Which brought me to this question. 

How can I recreate this in the classroom?

The Literacy Shed was my first port of call and I came across a short video made by WWF where a chimpanzee sent into space during the space program in the 1960's as an experiment returns to Earth and all it's changes through the eyes of a stranger. 

'Words and Pictures are Better than Words Alone.'

IT'S NOT A PLANET, IT'S OUR HOME

We watched it as a class twice and then we  started our collaborative padlet which worked really well. (See the discussion on my last post.) 

I made the link available to each tamaiti to rewind and stop and start when they wanted to so this made them in control of the presentation. 

'Multimedia Learning is more Effective When it is Interactive and under the Control of the Learner.'

After completing this process some amazing creative writing emerged. We shared along the way and discussed giving feedback and suggestions to each other. My next post will present some of the results. 

Using Padlet as a Collaborative Brainstorming Tool.

Using Padlet to encourage collaboration and provide the tamariki with a rich kete of words worked really well. This was particularly helpful for some of the more reluctant writers as they were inspired to contribute to the big picture even if they only had one or two words to add. The tamariki were then told that they could use any of the ideas on the padlet in their writing it was a shared brainstorm.

Created with Padlet